Sure-fire Christmas Present No:1

"The harder I work the luckier I get", is a quote attributed to various individuals, including Thomas Jefferson, Sam Goldwyn and Gary Player, but that maxim could justifiably have originated from the keyboard of my good friend and guest today on ItttL, Jonathan Pinnock.

Jon's writing has won him numerous prizes and accolades, including the prestigious Scott Prize the direct result of which is his first collection of short – and very short – fiction, Dot Dash, published this week by Salt Publishing, publishers of the 2012 Man Booker finalist The Lighthouse, by Alison Moore.

His work has appeared in a bewildering number of publications, worldwide, and been performed on stage and on BBC Radio. Jon achieved further success last year with his first full-length fiction book, Mrs Darcy versus The Aliens, published by Proxima Books.

ItttL: Hi, Jon, and welcome back to ItttL. Congratulations on your Scott Prize win, and on the publication of Dot Dash. How does it feel to share a publisher with a Man Booker Prize finalist?

Jon: Wonderful! Although… obviously I’m really pleased for Salt and for Alison Moore (and “The Lighthouse” is a bloody marvellous book, by the way), but it’s actually quite unsettling to feel that you’ve hung around in the same playground as her, because you can’t help wondering if you should maybe be raising your aim a little too. And that way madness lies.

ItttL: Given that Dot Dash is your first collection, what is the current title-count of the short fiction you've written to date? I suspect the answer is a high number, so how did you decide what to include, and what to leave out?

Jon: I’m not actually sure, but it’s probably in three figures by now. The decision process was actually quite simple. For the longer pieces, I started off by going through everything I had that had won a prize or had got some kind of mention and put them in. Then I went through the ones that had been published somewhere and picked the ones that seemed to me to be the strongest. For the shorter ones, the process was a lot simpler, because there were only just enough that had previously been published. In fact, I think I may have thrown in a couple of unpublished ones to make up the numbers.

ItttL: Dot-dash represents the letter "A" in Morse code. "C" got Tom McCarthy shortlisted for the Man Booker prize in 2010, did that fact influence your choice of title, or was there some other reason? (He asks with a sly wink).

Jon: Ha. We’re back to the Booker, aren’t we? No, “C” had nothing to do with it! I wanted to do something different from the usual “XXX and Other Stories” thing, and the slightly unusual structure of the collection lent itself to “Dot Dash”. Also, I’m a big fan of the band Wire, especially their song of the same name. If I ever get allowed to publish another collection, I’d really love to continue the theme by calling it “Dip Flash”.

ItttL: My copy of Dot Dash arrived last weekend; so I'm still buzzing with the amazing variety of work it contains in no fewer than 58 separate pieces. What would you say is the main trigger/inspiration for you when you start writing a piece of short fiction?

Jon: Generally speaking I need a purpose – some kind of competition or publication to aim for. It’s very rare that an idea pops into my head unprovoked. What I love is when you start writing something to fit a particular set of parameters and some completely unexpected theme emerges from your unconscious. I also love playing with different formats – different voices, tenses, sentence lengths and so on.

ItttL: I'm pleased to see that you've included a number of my favourite Pinnock tales in Dot Dash, including: After Michelangelo (under a different title, the first of your stories I ever read – brilliantly dark); Canine Mathematics (which makes me corpse every time I even think of it – cunningly crazy) and Mr Nathwani's Haiku (a new voice that fooled me in a Verulam Writers' Circle Crystal Decanter competition anonymous adjudication - perceptive and moving). If I asked you to pick your personal favourite story from Dot Dash, which one would it be, and why?

Jon: This is a bit like asking which of my kids I prefer! Of the really short ones, “Steaming” is the one I’m proudest of, because I think it succeeds in being simultaneously gruesome, funny and mundane in less then 140 characters. Of the longer ones, maybe “Return to Cairo”, because it combines humour and absurdity with pathos. But ask me again tomorrow, and I’ll almost certainly have changed my mind.

ItttL: Following the success of Mrs Darcy versus the Aliens, the indisputable popularity of your short fiction, and by extension I'm sure, the success of Dot Dash, what projects do you have in preparation?

Jon: Good question. The next book is an offbeat non-fiction/memoir-ish thing that’s currently out on submission. And I’m trying to decide what to do after that! I guess I’d hoped to have some idea by now of what kind of writer I am, and hence what I should be focussing on, but unfortunately I seem to remain resolutely unfocussed. So I’ll probably end up trying to write several completely different things at once in the hope that Darwinism will somehow result in something publishable emerging. God only knows if that will work, but it appears to be my only option.

ItttL STOP PRESS: I've just received an email heads-up from Liars' League of an upcoming event and see that yet another story from Dot Dash, The Last Words of Emanuel Prettyjohn leads the list of stories to be performed by professional actors, in London, on November 13th. Congratulations once again.

Thank you, Jon, for taking the time to drop in at ItttL on your hectic blog tour. I wish you continuing success, and a sales graph like the north face of the Eiger.

Christmas recommendation No:1 If you've read this far, it will probably come as no surprise to learn that I heartily recommend Jonathan Pinnock's short story collection Dot Dash as a book you'll enjoy at first reading and return to dip into again and again. It's a dead cert Christmas present, even for somebody whose lifestyle limits his or her reading time. Dot Dash is available direct from Salt Publishing, Amazon, or your local bookshop.

PS: I understand that signed copies are available via the PayPal button on www.jonathanpinnock.com or www.join-the-dots.com!

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GOTCHA! Take that, Mr Alien Invader Chappie

Disturbing news has flooded the …Time? Lord…™ communication channels. An unscrupulous mastermind posing as a writer is invading unguarded blogs accompanied by alien hordes of cloned Jane Austen characters. The fiend is causing untold painful mirth and seducing the reading public with devious enticements and cunning sales pitches. I mentioned this unfortunate affair on a recent visit to the fragrant Miss Austen’s Hampshire residence, whereupon, quite naturally, she called upon …Time? Lord…™ for assistance.

There’s little point in being a …Time? Lord…™ if you don’t employ your temporal assets to good effect. One little known disadvantage of time travel, however, is an irresistible tendency to mimic the most recent character you’ve met. So, after visiting Miss Austen I stopped off at Warmington-on-Sea, ostensibly for advice on dealing with alien invasion but in truth to disguise an embarrassing Regency falsetto.

Pay attention. Your alien invader chappie is full of ideas of world domination and thinks he can fool us by wearing simple disguises like Regency bonnets and ladies underwear… There’s nothing at all odd about the ladies underwear of course. I just thought I’d mention that. The aliens will have a leader, you’ll recognise him by his facial hair. Alien invasion leaders always have facial hair… very un-British.

Trust me, it's bigger inside.

My campaign to eradicate the blighter is a three-pronged affair: 1) mount a surprise attack 2) obtain a full confession 3) inflict awful punishment.

Right. Here goes Operation Impose Spanish Justice:

Phase One – The Surprise Attack

Aha! There he is. That bonnet did not fool me, Sir. You didn’t expect a stealth attack did you, Mr Alien-Leader-Chappie?

(Materialising in this red call box catches them out every time. Nobody expects the Spanish Imposition!)

So, what have you to say in your defence, Jonathan Pinnock? Is there any valid reason why …Time? Lord…™ should not, on behalf of the wronged Miss Jane Austen, give the perpetrator of the alleged literary work known as Mrs Darcy Versus the Aliens a good kick in the tentacles?

Alleged?! I'll have you know I was commissioned by the good lady herself. Do you think you're the only one with a time machine around these parts? "Jonny boy," she says to me, "All this zombie business has gone too far. What we need is a return to basics. Reboot the franchise." And you don't argue with the likes of Miss Austen.  So I say, "How about vampires, then?" and she says, "Come off it, mate. And no bleeding werewolves either. Think outside the box." So I go away and have a bit of a ponder. When I come back I say to her, "What about aliens?" and she sighs and says "Yeah, whatever." Well, it's well past gin o'clock by this time and she doesn't do fine print once she's had a few. So that's how we ended up with aliens. Works for me.

Phase Two – The Confession

Weasel alien words of  desperation if ever I heard them. And I suppose you thought I wouldn't spot that awful pun about the box?  We do the puns, Sir. No, you’re not so cocky in the face of cold British silliness, are you Mr Alien-Leader-Chappie Pinnock? Confess the full history and extent of your nefarious literary undertakings and hope for mercy:

Oh all right then. Here's the skinny. Had this idea for an alien sequel to Pride and Prejudice way back in 2007, got derailed by that zombie book, stopped writing it, started writing it again, didn't get a publisher, eventually serialised it on the web, found an audience, found a publisher. The book finally made it into the shops at the start of September, where it's on promotion in WHSmith in the UK and also on sale in most branches of Waterstone's as well as all the usual online places, including - much to my amazement - the Jane Austen Centre Online Giftshop. The story? Well, it's a genuine sequel to Pride and Prejudice, with aliens. But there's much more than that. There are ghosts, dirigibles and a pigeon called Colin. There's Lord Byron and there's Charlotte Collins on laudanum. And a lot of tentacles. It is indeed the most fun you can have with a bonnet on.

Harrumph! A likely story. You may enter your tweet of mitigation in fewer than 140 characters before I pass sentence:

In our darkest hours, a great work of art will often emerge to delineate our hopes and fears. This is not that work. But it may provide a laugh or two whilst we're waiting.

Phase Three – The Punishment [dons black cap]

Aha! Your silver-tongued eloquence will not save you, Alien, condemned as you stand by your innate Jonny-foreigner inability to count. Your crimes against Miss Austen and the holders of diverse blogs and domains are of such a witty, hilarious and titillating nature that I have no option but to subject you to the most severe punishment at my disposal. You are therefore sentenced to have inflicted upon your reputation in perpetuity the stain of having received an Oscar’s Oscar – Hi Five.

Take that! And let it be a lesson to you.

HELP! How do hang-in-the-air endings work?

@TaniaHershman has a terrific story up on PANK Magazine today (thanks @JonPinnock for  the headsup)

I envy writers who can make these 'hang-in-the-air' stories work. If I tried one it would simply appear unfinished. I guess the secret lies in the characterization and believability - the verisimilitude  - in Tania's story, which makes it seem like a slice of real life and therefore acceptable as a snapshot of a moving target? How am I doing?

I want to understand how this works. I need to learn – fast.

All serious advice will be gratefully received and faithfully applied by this apprentice writer.

Although I can't pay, you may help yourself to virtual tea and biscuits.

But, please, do turn the lights off when you leave.

With grateful thanks in anticipation.

Oscar

Brilliant Sparks in Brighton

No, not me – modesty forbids – anyway, I'm not in that trade * anymore. I'm referring to SPARKS 10.

My VWC pal Jonathan Pinnock and I trekked down to Sussex for this occasional reading and photography event last Tuesday evening.  Of all the days in the year we had to chose one when London Underground was hit by strikes, which made for an interesting and protracted return journey. That small inconvenience, though, was well rewarded.

In a theatrical review I once referred to the New End Theatre, Hampstead, as 'petite'. By that reckoning the theatre – for it is a mini-theatre – above the pub at Thirteen and Ten, Steine Street, Brighton, is positively Lilliputian. The atmosphere though is Brobdingnagian in a friendly, arty and welcoming way. So supportive indeed were the  organiser, the mesmerising Jo Mortimer, and my talented fellow readers that I almost forgot my fear of reading to a paying audience... Almost.

Aided by a little Dutch courage from the bar I made it through the performance without serious upset. People were still talking to me afterward – that must be a positive sign. I even received a generous compliment or three, which, coming from such talents as Vanessa Gebbie, Jac Cattaneo and Naomi Foyle, give me cause to hope I have survived my first hesitant step as a performance writer and reader.

Yes, I'm hooked.  I'd like to read at a SPARKS event again.

 * Strange synergy here: In 'another life' I was an electrician, Vanessa Gebbie is the editor of the excellent Short Circuit, A Guide to the Art of the Short Story, and there I am reading at an event called SPARKS. Spooky.

Pics (atmospheric) courtesy of Jon Pinnock.

Above: Me, hiding nervously behind the mic.

Above: Jon P, towering over it.

Why Short Fiction Competitions?

Writing competitions are a waste of time: Discuss.

A day or two ago I made an apologetic post on my home writers' circle bulletin board at having only achieved third place in the excellent The Write Idea website's annual Whittaker Prize competition. This drew a post from one of my peers, which said, that: Being absolutely frank, he had never seen the attraction of these competitions, and felt they're possibly a distraction from writing what you really wanted to write (i.e not in response to someone elses brief). He also worried about the quality of the adjudication.

I couldn't resist the following reply, which I'm minded to share with anyone who might wander through these murky backwaters of cyberspace by mischance:

Do you write short stories, Frank? If not, there's probably no way I can explain other than to relate: 1) Why I write short fiction and then, 2) Why I have entered '...these competitions'.

1) Why short fiction?  I have written one novel, and have begun about three more. The 'completed' novel took up a big chunk of my life and I made just about all the mistakes a writer could make - not once, but time and again. Writing that first - unsuccessful - novel took years, if you include innumerable rewrites. I'm getting old and do not have such time to waste anymore.

So, in parallel, I became drawn into short fiction. Besides the fact that I enjoy writing 'tight and short', my reasoning is the same as why genetic researchers have employed the fruit fly, dorosophila, rather than the elephant - a short gestation period. I can experiment and make mistakes on a much shorter cycle, and can also execute the one and only acid test - does my work sell? - more readily.

In addition, there is a worldwide upsurge in interest in short fiction and a sea-change in the means of distribution/marketing the 'product'. The world of short fiction - online in particular - has an exciting 'wild frontier' atmosphere where remarkable things can and will happen (but you also have to watch your back).

2) Why competitions? To be clear, the competition in question, which triggered your enquiry, was the recent Whittaker Prize competition, so I'll address that. The competition involved writers submitting a short story every fortnight over a period of eighteen weeks. Although prompts were provided (three per round) these were only to stimulate creativity (the prompts did not have to be incorporated in the work) so writers were free to write whatever they pleased - not '...to someone elses brief.' - up to the maximum word count.

The main attraction to me is that I have a deadline to work to and a concrete reason to create something new. If I stick to the schedule, I end up with nine new pieces of work I would not otherwise have created. You could even regard the creative output from such competitions as the raw material 'input' to a further on-going process of learning and refinement.

As to the quality of adjudication, who can say? If not always names you would immediately recognise, the judges nonetheless have a standing in writing circles acknowledged by their peers. In this case there were two judges who adjudicated anonymously on alternate rounds, and in parallel on the final round (with interesting comments and results). In Whittaker, the entries are given points/values for nine defined parameters, e.g., Opening, Closing, Voice, Technicalities etc. All literary adjudication must be subjective, but I have found that the Whittaker values, arbitrary as they may seem, have given me clear indication of areas of weakness in my writing. When two judges independently highlight the same areas again and again, a sensible aspiring writer will take notice.

Success in competitions in general can bring your writing to the notice of a wider audience, and success does, it seems, breed success, if my mate Jonathan Pinnock's progress is any guide.

Distraction? Nope. Focus? Yup.

In short: it works for me, Frank.

Oscar

All That Glisters: Thoughts on 2009 and hopes for 2010

Mulling over the past is something I rarely do. The past, so far as I'm concerned, is gone. Events now and in the future are of more significance, being all we can truly experience.

So, this is pretty well the first time I have ever sat down to record my private thoughts for possible (Although I can't imagine anyone else having the slightest interest) public consumption. But it's a good writing exercise, so here-we-go.

2009 was not a bumper year for writing success; more of a consolidation year, gaining experience, experimenting in new fields, entering a competition or two and making new friends.

Early on in the year, I was fortunate in having a horror piece, Timelock, performed by Obstacle Productions at several London venues, including the Drill Hall, off Tottenham Court Road. It gave me real pleasure to share the bill [performance, not cost] with my old mate and fellow Verulam Writers' Circle (VWC) member, Jonathan Pinnock... oh, yes, and a couple of chancers, names of Edgar A Poe, and W W Jacobs.