Writers, great news if you're late for a deadline again and the axe is about to fall; there's a new hi-tec version of the "my dog ate my homework" excuse: The squirrel ate my internet.
In order to employ this excuse convincingly, however, it will first be necessary to do a little research, a link to which your reliable friend Oscar will provide, care of Andrew Blum and TED Talks. First perhaps I should explain my own interest.
Before becoming a writer, I spent a large chunk of my life as an electrician, a trade which is about as down to earth as a job can get. I don't mind if you snort at what seems like an electrical pun there, because it's not simply a metaphor. My job, whilst often technical, did sometimes involve grunt work like digging up the ground or hacking channels in walls to install cabling for services in factories, offices and homes.
The internet arrived late in my electrician life, rapidly becoming an essential adjunct to my job. But there was little time or need to consider how it worked or where it "was". The internet was simply a magical facility connected in some mysterious way with the World Wide Web created by a great wizard called Tim Berners-Lee.
Until today I sublimated my inner electrician's curiosity and allowed the pragmatic writer in me to accept the magic at face value. I talked about my online work being in cyberspace, or, more recently, in the cloud without the slightest idea of where the internet "was".
Today though I discovered the amusing and enlightening TED talk by Andrew Blum, entitled; What is the internet, really? and my long standing and embarrassing ignorance ended.
Enjoy a few entertaining and informative minutes with Andrew Blum and you will feel empowered to employ the coolest excuse with confidence.
Wednesday, 26 September 2012
Sunday, 17 June 2012
Ray Bradbury: A Miniature Tribute
If, as was the case with most of my family, you have not a clue what to make of my tale, this free Ray Bradbury classic story might give you hint. Beware, though, reading this could be the start of a lifelong Bradbury addiction. And, if you didn't already know, you'll learn the source of an expression you've heard many, many, times and almost certainly quoted yourself.Thursday, 14 June 2012
First Oscar's Oscars Hi Five of 2012
It's been a long time since I inflicted one of my Oscar's Oscars on some poor unsuspecting individual, but I feel a presentation coming on right now because this guy and his work are uniquely deserving of a good Hi Fiving.So, without further ado (I've no idea what that means but it seems to be traditional at times like this):
Citation (my excuse for inflicting this humiliation): For outstanding contribution to the promotion of short story writing, and flash fiction in particular, by inaugurating and promoting (Inter)National Flash Fiction Day, the first Oscar's Oscar of 2012 goes to Calum Kerr. Yay! (excuse me).
In case you're a returning deep space traveller and have some excuse for remaining unaware of the full, and lasting, significance of Calum's project, you can read a summing up in his own words, here. Well done that man!
Saturday, 2 June 2012
Another Diamond Jubilee very soon?
That being the case, I think it's time I banged the drum for my 'home' writers' group, Verulam Writers' Circle, which is approaching its own 60th anniversary very soon.
Despite today's tacky, un-British showing, we Brits have many reasons to remain proud of the United Kingdom. I consider myself fortunate to have been born an Englishman, so I am a lucky man indeed to be a member of Verulam Writers' Circle too.
In case you're wondering what I'm so enthusiastic about, please have a little taster from the latest edition of the excellent Verulam Writers' Circle newsletter, Veracity. Here's wishing friends in the UK and worldwide a relaxing and memorable weekend. Do watch the river pageant, the concert and the parades if you are able to, wherever you may be. If you can attend the live events - well, lucky you. They should be truly spectacular, and, I sincerely hope, less tainted by commercial bad taste than was the Epsom Derby.
Saturday, 19 May 2012
Top Short Story Competitions – Literary Athletics
There are short story writing competitions. There are international short story writing competitions. And then there's New York City Midnight Short Story Challenge.
The operative words are Midnight and Challenge, and they mean exactly what they say. NYCM competitions are not for sleepyheads or the faint-hearted.
This year the challenge consisted of three rounds of original writing challenges, set against the calendar and the clock. The challenges were presented, by email, at 11:59 EDT (New York time), which equated to 4:59 the following morning in the UK.
In the first round the 24:00/5:00am start was not too onerous, given eight days to write a story of up to 2,500 words. The second round was slightly more fraught with 3 days to produce a story of up to 1,500 words. Faced, however, with 24 hours to write a 1,000 word story in the final round, every second counted, so a 5:00 start was vital.
The 625 first round writers were placed randomly in 'heats' of 25. Each heat received a genre, subject and character assignment, for example: Comedy (genre), a family reunion (subject) and a pathological liar (character).
The judges chose 125 writers from the first round to progress to the second round. These writers were again placed in heats and given new genre, subject and character assignments.
From these entries the judges chose 25 writers to advance to the third and final round, in which all writers received the same genre, subject and character.
The over all winners were:
1 'Origin Story' by Jessica Zimmerman
2 'What We Left Behind' by Muthoni Kiarie
3 'Secret Sky' by Elizabeth Spencer
4 'After the Plague' by Betsy A. Riley
5 'Shiny, Pink Secrets' by Andrea Hannah
Me? I made it to the final 25, which is not so dusty. Close, as they say, but no cigar.
Perhaps my NYCM-inspired athletic training regime will stand me in good stead for future literary track and field events, who knows?
Whatever, I've submitted my three entries elsewhere. As I observed at the beginning: The only way to lose is by not taking part.
Thursday, 17 May 2012
No Smoke Without Ire
How would you define mass murder?
When the international community brings to account those accused of crimes against humanity we feel righteous satisfaction that justice has prevailed. We experience this emotion principally because we are compassionate beings and the world is our shrinking habitat. In the words of John Donne: No man is an island entire of itself…any man's death diminishes me… *
According to ABC News, tobacco companies – including British American Tabaco Australia (BATA) – are challenging in court the ground breaking attempts of the Australian government to reduce tobacco addiction and smoking related deaths by introducing plain generic packaging. BATA is also proposing to reduce the price of cigarettes.
In response, Federal Health Minister Tanya Plibersek is quoted as saying: "What they're interested in doing is attracting new smokers and keeping existing smokers, and they'll do whatever it takes to do that."
The connection between smoking and premature death is established fact, so is the addictive nature of tobacco.
If the killing of thousands for 'reasons' of religion, race or ideology is a Crime Against Humanity, what should we call the killing of addicted millions for financial gain?
No man is an island entire of itself;
every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less,
as well as if a promontory were,
as well as a manor of thy friends or of thine own were;
any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
it tolls for thee.
John Donne
 |
| (Image via The Journal: Staton R. Winter/AP/Press Association Image |
According to ABC News, tobacco companies – including British American Tabaco Australia (BATA) – are challenging in court the ground breaking attempts of the Australian government to reduce tobacco addiction and smoking related deaths by introducing plain generic packaging. BATA is also proposing to reduce the price of cigarettes.
In response, Federal Health Minister Tanya Plibersek is quoted as saying: "What they're interested in doing is attracting new smokers and keeping existing smokers, and they'll do whatever it takes to do that."
 |
| (Image: ABC News) |
The connection between smoking and premature death is established fact, so is the addictive nature of tobacco.
If the killing of thousands for 'reasons' of religion, race or ideology is a Crime Against Humanity, what should we call the killing of addicted millions for financial gain?
And, weighed
dispassionately in the cold scales of logic, which crime is the more monstrous?
* No Man is an island
No man is an island entire of itself;
every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less,
as well as if a promontory were,
as well as a manor of thy friends or of thine own were;
any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
it tolls for thee.
John Donne
Monday, 14 May 2012
Small is Beautiful – National Flash Fiction Day
In case you haven't heard, Wednesday, May 16th – yes, that is in two days time – will be the first ever National Flash Fiction Day.
The National bit applies to the UK, but there is also an International Flash Fiction Day in tandem.
So, wherever you reside in the world, you still have tomorrow to submit contributions to the FlashFlood Journal, which will appear online during National Flash Fiction Day, starting from around midnight on May 15th (all times are BST) with contributions added regularly throughout the day.
I'm pleased to report that the FlashFlood Journal editors have accepted a piece of mine, Bent, which I understand will be posted between 12:00 and 12:30.
It is great to be involved with the inaugural National Flash Fiction Day, which the indefatigable Calum Kerr has worked on for so long to bring to fruition.
Next Wednesday promises to be a bundle of fun for writers and readers alike. I hope to see you there.
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